Losing It! Motivation

fitness_motivation

It’s happened.   Hard core.

I lost the motivation I once had to lose weight and to eat healthy.

The last time I worked out at the gym was three weeks ago.  The last time I worked out was that 5 1/2 mile walk last Monday.

I’m not eating right either.  I had vegetables with my Chinese food for lunch today.  But those veggies were slathered in sauce.  I’m debating about making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for lunch because I’m not in the mood to cook.

Inner Dialogue Time.  Or soliloquy, if you will.  And I will.

I don’t want to be fat again.  I won’t.

So what do I need to do?

Bitch.  Put. Down. The. Chocolate.

Grab the gym bag that you packed three weeks ago and head to the gym.

You better work.

And yes, my goal is to be a supermodel.

Not really.

I would need some serious facial reconstruction surgery for that.

International Day Of What?

This past Thursday (3/20) was International Day Of Happiness.  I wouldn’t have known that juicy tidbit if it hadn’t been for social media cramming it down my throat.  But it did make me think of all the things I am happy about.  *stares out the window to reflect*

Let’s see.  I’m happy that not only is it sunny out today, but that it is in the 50s.  I’m happy that Spring is officially here.  I’m trying not to think about the fact that there is a possibility for snow next week.

I’m happy that my boys are healthy and happy.  I’m happy that D loves preschool.  He just started about a month ago and he LOVES it.  I’m happy that M loves school and is enjoying his Hip Hop class.

I’m happy my hubby is excited about his new job.  I’m happy that he seems to be getting his confidence back up.

I’m happy that I’m on the road to a healthier lifestyle.  I just signed up for a 5k!

I’m happy that tonight we are going to see some old friends that we haven’t been able to see all winter long.  Every time we make plans, we’ve had to cancel because of (another) fucking snow storm.

What are somethings that make you happy today?

Have a great weekend!

FYI/GTK*

Thursdays are crazy for me.   I need to find time to post that day.

*good to know 🙂

Wanting To Lose

I am taking a big step today and writing about my new journey towards losing weight.

I am a big girl.  Just writing that last sentence took some courage because I don’t like to really admit it.  I mean I joke about it, but I don’t like to THINK of myself as a big girl.

I know I can lose weight because I did it before.  Since puberty, I have been overweight.  In my mid to late 20s I lost a lot of weight.  Then I got married and popped out two kids and went back to my old bad habits.

I don’t like being unhealthy.  I don’t like being out of shape.  I want to be able to play with my kids and not worry about getting out of breath when I run after them.  I want to be able to go on bike rides with my family this year.   I want to run a 5k.

I recently saw a picture of myself and I thought “That’s Enough!”.  So I started back up on Weight Watchers.  That was February 16th.  I’ve lost 8 pounds so far.

So, why am I writing about this?
I want to be accountable for my weight loss.  Every Wednesday, I will post about my journey. The good days and the bad days.  I will post about the Full Body Torture class I take on Mondays and the conversations I have with myself over the food choices I make.