It’s happened. Hard core.
I lost the motivation I once had to lose weight and to eat healthy.
The last time I worked out at the gym was three weeks ago. The last time I worked out was that 5 1/2 mile walk last Monday.
I’m not eating right either. I had vegetables with my Chinese food for lunch today. But those veggies were slathered in sauce. I’m debating about making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for lunch because I’m not in the mood to cook.
Inner Dialogue Time. Or soliloquy, if you will. And I will.
I don’t want to be fat again. I won’t.
So what do I need to do?
Bitch. Put. Down. The. Chocolate.
Grab the gym bag that you packed three weeks ago and head to the gym.
You better work.
And yes, my goal is to be a supermodel.
I would need some serious facial reconstruction surgery for that.
Note to self: Wear yoga pants and underwear that fit you to work out. Burpees are not conducive with baggy pants. Especially if you are at a crowded gym.
Let’s just say I speak from experience.
Let’s just say that I had a fashion emergency.
OK. OK. If it wasn’t for my long T-Shirt, I would have shown everyone my lady parts. Hey, I just wanted people to check out my ass.
I don’t do squats for nothin’.
I recently donated all my size 20 pants. I officially own more yoga pants than jeans. Don’t worry, most of my yoga pants fit me fine. I went down to a size 18 jean, but they were a little loose on me. So, for shits and giggles I tried on a pair of size 16W jeans.
For the first time in almost 10 years, I was able to put on AND button a pair of 16W jeans!! OMG. OMG. I was soo freaking excited. I was doing a happy dance in the dressing room. I think I actually squeed! (not peed – squee, people, squee)
I’m making sure I’m adding the “W” with the size because I’m pretty sure the fact that the jeans are still made for the WIDE girl is why the size 16 jeans fit. I’m not entirely convinced I’ll be able to fit into the regular 16s. I remember being 20 pounds lighter the last time I was able to put my fat ass in a size 16 jeans.
Even if the jeans are made for the wider size 16, I’m happy.
I’m happy that all the hard work is beginning to really show.
First off, I want to thank all of you who reached out and sent me words of encouragement after my post last Wednesday. Your words meant a lot to me. Thank you!
There was stress eating involved at the end of last week and I’m not proud of it. Both boys had colds last week and they didn’t sleep well. Which means I didn’t sleep well. No sleep means, I wasn’t motivated for much of anything. Boo.
I was able to lose 1 pound, so there’s that.
Total Body Pilates is on Mondays. It is not really Pilates. The first time I took it, I’ll be honest, I was pissed off because the name of the class is misleading. What the class is, is free weights and some (a very tiny bit) core work. I called it Total Body Torture because the next day I was in some serious pain. Everything was sore. I do realize that pain is a good thing, so I’ve been going back. The instructor is a bit scary for a class with Pilates in the title. A drill sergeant would be nicer. Shouldn’t Pilates instructors be calmer? However, she does make you push harder and that’s what I need sometimes.
Goal For The Week
My goal for the week is to make time to work out 5 days this week. My goal is to alternate days with cardio and weights. I shouldn’t be afraid of weights. Why do those machines scare me?
As for the diet, I need to make sure there are more vegetables around that I can snack on. I have tons of fruit around, but not a lot of veggies that I can grab and go for a snack.
I’ll be writing about feeling mom guilt during this weight loss journey.