Eat It! Or Don’t. Piggy Pie.

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving in the U.S.

This is traditionally a day for stuffing our faces with all sorts of comfort food.  I just read a statistic that says Americans consume over 3000 calories on Thanksgiving.   That’s a lot of pie.

Don’t tell anyone, but pie is not my favorite dessert.  If it doesn’t have frosting (butter-cream, not that cream cheese or whipped cream bullshit)  I’m not a fan.

Despite my lack of love for pie, I am OK at making the traditional Thanksgiving pies.  Pie filling is actually super easy to do.  OK, it’s only easy because you mostly open up some cans and pour that into a pie crust.

Pie crust is something that I will never, ever, ever try to make from scratch.  You remember my bread disaster?

My father in law requested cherry pie for tomorrow so I decided to give that a try.  My plan was to use one of those pie crusts that you can just unroll and place on top of the filling.  Like this.

My ideal cherry pie (image from the google search)

My ideal cherry pie
(image from the google search)

When I tried to unroll the pie crust, it started to come off in chunks.

What to do?  What to do?

I ended up using the pig cookie cutter I had and placed those little guys on top of the cherries.  Then I egg washed them and placed cinnamon and sugar on top.   Not to brag, but. I think the pie came out looking pretty good.

Piggy Pie

I’m calling it Piggy Pie, in honor of how much we will be pigging out.

I hope it tastes alright.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Eat It! Or Dont. ‘Bit -‘Mallow Treats

School was closed today for Presidents Day.  It also snowed again, so the boys and I were snowbound.  Again.  This has been a very long winter.

I wanted to make Rice Crispy treats with the boys but we didn’t have enough Rice Crispy cereal.  The thunder-snow was falling from the heavens and there was no way I was going out for cereal.

What to do? What to do?

I improvised.

We had enough Alpha Bit cereal, so I decided that would work.  I thought it would be too bland, so I decided to add some more ingredients.   Now, if you have read my previous posts, you know that this always ends bad.  But it didn’t this time.

I had about a 1/2 cup of peanut butter left in the jar, so I added that to the melted butter and about a 1/2 to 1 cup of chocolate chips to the pan to melt as well.  Then I added the bag of tiny marshmallows and stirred until all that shit was melted.  I then added about 5 cups of the cereal.   I dumped out the mixture into a brownie pan and spread it out. The last touch was sprinkling what was left of the sprinkle bits*.

bit -mallow treats

I suppose you could fuck up crispy treats, but luck was on my side today!  This recipe was a hit!   Whew.

*I have no idea what the confetti/dotty thingys are called.  D took the empty bottle somewhere, so I don’t know the name.  Do my baker friends know?

Eat It! Or don’t. Razzy ‘fruit Quick Bread

Eat It! Or don’t will be a series of posts about my misadventures in baking.

I would love to say that I’m a great baker.
I would love to say that.
The truth is that I’m not.
Not. Even. Close.

You ever get sucked into that food porn they show on the Cooking Channel and get inspired to bake something that looked so sexy on the show?

No?  Just me?

I think you’re lying.

Recently, I watched an episode where the commentators were discussing how wonderful this Raspberry and Grapefruit quick bread was.
By definition, quick bread is quick. Right? So I should be able to do that.
I had some fresh raspberries on hand because of a sale at the grocery store.
I even had a grapefruit that seemed lonely in the fruit bowl.
So, why not give it a go? Right?

I have a Jiffy baking mix that I know makes good banana nut bread, so I decided to use that recipe and ‘jazz’ it up.
Instead of all white sugar, I used some brown sugar as well. I also added some vanilla. Used a pint of raspberries and segmented the grapefruit and used the juice from the grapefruit as well.


top: right out of the oven. middle: oops, trying to pop it out of the pan. bottom: fresh hot loaf.

Drum roll please. . . .
Right out of the oven, I didn’t think it was that great.  Turns out grapefruit bits aren’t that yummy hot.  I also thought I may have put in too much brown sugar.
The next day at room temperature it was pretty good.
My 5 year old gobbled his piece all up and asked for more!
Would I make it again?  I think I would like to monkey around with the recipe further. So, I guess that answer is Yes.

How would you have made the bread?